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Thursday, December 29, 2005

Recap Of Tom Cruise And His Asshole Antics

Let's just recap Tom's worst and worser of 2005 shall we?
  1. March: Tom fires his long-time publicist and hires his sister
  2. April: Tom goes public with his new 'relationship'
  3. May: Tom declares his love for Katie Holmes by bounding Oprah's couch and punching the air
  4. May: Tom slams Brooke Sheilds for the using anti-depressants
  5. June: Tom drives Scientology into the brains of anyone within earshot, scoffs at others' basis in reality
  6. June: Matt Lauer's questions (he interviews people FOR A LIVING) makes him 'glib' according to Tom
  7. June: Tom gets squirted in the face on the red carpet by British comedian - lectures him like my grampa
  8. October: Tom 'impregnates' Katie Holmes
  9. November: Tom buys at-home ultrasound machine - to keep an eye on midget alien baby inside Katie - despite FDA warnings
  10. November: Tom fires sister, hires veteran publicist
  11. December: Tom takes Katie to a toy store for her birthday - takes a plush Tinky-Winky home in her place

From Celebricious

posted by Very_Vera @ 12/29/2005 11:10:00 PM |


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